I want to make sure you understand what's going on here in the event you've stopped by and decided "this guy's nuts" or some variation thereof, and also, I want to address a recurring opinion or two that some have about my experience.
As to whether I'm nuts, well, that's entirely possible. If you find me obsessive, you're probably right. I probably am obsessive. Seems to be a common trait among people with musical inclination. The span of time between seriously applying myself to the piano and becoming a session pianist/keyboard player and being hired to play on other people's records was a total of three years - with no formal training and with hardly a day going by where 6-8 hours weren't spent practicing, sometimes until fingernails bled. Thank God for obsession. Personally, the adjective I prefer is "dedicated", even "committed", but hey, that's just me. If you prefer to view me in a poor light and use the more dark and sinister portrayal of "obsessive", knock yourself out.
For those of you who say "How can you even call yourself a Christian and be so angry, so loud, and use such strong and offensive language?" Well, as to my faith, I think I make where I stand very clear at the link above that says "Jesus Christ". If what you read there doesn't satisfy you, chances are I'll never be invited to a BBQ or an Uno tournament at your house, cause there's gonna be a whole heck of a lot you aren't gonna like about this blog. As far as the emotion, how exactly are you measuring that? Not by Christ? When I read the gospels, I see a Jesus who sometimes spoke softly, but who also sometimes yelled, who sometimes called people very unbecoming names, who spoke so pointedly that people would cease following him, who once got so angry he caused property damage, who made people so mad at him that they conspired to find a way to kill him. By modern church standards, Jesus would be required to take anger management and sensitivity classes (and would probably be crucified again by modern church leaders). Let's be careful that we aren't shaping Christianity, and our expectations of Christians, into OUR OWN preferred or culturally crafted image, because frankly, most of us (including me) do when we aren't careful. Jesus was the most emotionally complicated individual who ever walked the earth, and ALL that he did, whether softly or forcefully, was done from passion. Don't put Him, or those who put their faith in Him, in an emotional box. My emotional, passionate writing style isn't gonna be changing, so if you plan to keep visiting here, buckle up.
If you question what this blog is about, just read the description below the banner at the top. It isn't hidden.
If you question where I stand on all things Patriarchy, you should read this. If that got you lathered up at me, then you can read this. That should remove all gray area. If you don't like my take on "speaking the truth in love" in that last link, don't read here.
Quiverfull? Read here.
Courtship? It's your lucky day. Read here. Plenty of other material in the archives to scratch your courtship itch, too. Courtship is generally practiced as an extremely superficial, external means of addressing internal, heart issues - personal responsibility, personal discipline, and self-control - and giving people the superficial option of blaming it all on God. If you practice or promote it, you may want to examine your entire belief system a bit more closely, because you've probably got at least one foot planted very firmly in legalism.
My advice to young women oppressed and abused by these movements can be found here, and that advice won't be changing.
And before you waste your breath or burn half a calorie typing up an indignant email or comment, please, PLEASE, do all of us the courtesy of reading THIS.
For those who think I need to just "move past" all of this...No thanks. I'd rather it "move with" me as I "move on". Other people can benefit from what happened to me, what I've learned from it, and what I'm still learning from it - and hopefully, from the passion it created.
For those who are generally sympathetic to my viewpoints but believe that God ultimately "did me a favor", the last 3 years haven't exactly been a trip to Disney World (read here - this crap almost killed me), so I might be prone to pass on the next "favor" God wants to do for me. While I can appreciate where that sentiment comes from, if I were to blame ANY of this on God, I don't think that'd be a God I could willingly worship. I'm more inclined to believe that God has come in and allowed me to (hopefully) make something good and positive for others out of what some very twisted people, PEOPLE, did to me while disgustingly flying His flag and following these apostate teachings.
While I don't believe in returning evil for evil, I also recognize that if you're gonna wrestle with a pig (which these belief systems, when taught and practiced as essentials, ARE) you gotta get in the mud. I don't ever want to be accused of being afraid to get my hands dirty in doing the right thing.
ETA: For you Domestic Discipline lovers and defenders who straggle in occasionally due to the behest of other DD blogs to come here and fight DD's battles - It's either total kink, or abuse, or emotional deficiency and dysfunction. There are no other options. Most of the time it's just KINK and playing spanky-spanky. Just freakin' call it what it is. You may call it "beautiful and intimate", but I'm more persuaded by the abused and desperate sentiment of the women who've reached out to me who were beaten with vacuum cleaner power cables, or who were made to strip naked and be beaten by several men.
ETA: While I love the books of the bible, I don't worship the bible. Although I have in the past (even here on the blog), and sometimes still do out of habit (a habit I'm trying to curb), I don't like to refer to the bible as "God's Word". I don't consider it infallible and inerrant. It's a collection of 66 different books written by a plethora of extremely diverse authors. It contains SOME of God's words, SOME of Christ's words, some words about God and Christ, some words and opinions of men - some of which I believe to have been inspired by God, some inspired by ancient culture, some of it pulled right out of the writer's rear-end (a southern expression) - and some pretty big contradictions which I no longer have the desire to explain away "spiritually" so I can sleep better at night. I don't worship the biblical canon, and you'll lose me at "hello" if you come at me with the "God's Word says..." stuff.
With all of that said...Welcome.