Much of this was covered here.
I regularly receive emails asking me if I "hate" those who practice "biblical" patriarchy. For the sake of those of you who are fairly new to this blog, I'll put it out there once again...
I don't "hate" fundamentalists or those who practice "biblical" patriarchy. At the same time, I've no patience or sympathy, whatsoever, for the practice itself.
It. Is. Evil. Doesn't matter that it wears a pretty, "biblical" dress. Doesn't matter. It. Is. Evil.
Toward those who practice "biblical" patriarchy, I pity the deception they've fallen into. Many of them are sincere, genuine people. They're also sincerely and genuinely wrong. I pray the scales would be removed from their eyes, they'd cease to rely on the commandments of men taught as doctrine by men, use a bit of discernment, and determine for themselves what God speaks to them through the scriptures and the instruction of the Holy Spirit, without the help of dishonest, delusional, power-hungry, and greedy people like the Vision Forum crowd, Gothard, the McDonalds, Kevin Swanson, Doug Wilson, Lindvall, Sproul, Jr., and others like them. These people are wolves in sheep's clothing, using the scriptures deceitfully, peddling cultural fear on steroids, lining their pockets with the vulnerability of sincere, yet often confused or naive, people.
"Biblical" patriarchy is apostasy, a blight upon the church, a deep ditch containing the corpses of countless poor souls who've blindly bought into it's formulas, carrying the spiritual stench of rotten refuse, bearing the blood of the hearts, lives, and dreams it's shattered in it's very own Sherman's March through the conservative homeschooling Christian community. It's day of reckoning won't be pretty.
You'll find no patience or sympathy for the practice of "biblical" patriarchy on this blog. Ever. My sympathy is for those it's practiced on, the poor children of patriarchy who usually end up as casualties of a colossally stupid and senseless cultural war which they're conscripted into and have little choice but to fight whether they want to or not.
You might tell me that you practice "biblical" patriarchy, but nothing like what I write about. Your family is thriving, your children are happy and well-adjusted (trust me - they aren't), they aren't being brainwashed with indoctrination that reaches into every area of their lives and such. Save it. Get back to me when little Sissie Sue becomes a grown woman and resists the notion that she needs you to sign off on and oversee her life decisions - which she'll be in no way prepared to make, thanks to your choice to raise her in "biblical" patriarchy. Your little micro-managed patriarchal world will crumble, your family will crumble, relationships will be damaged very likely beyond repair short of the miraculous intervention of God. That will be on YOUR head. It isn't a sin for your adult child to become an adult independent of your control. You will end up using the bible as a weapon against your own children, using emotional leverage, using guilt, and essentially making your child's life hell. The system crumbles entirely if you can't control the lives of your children. Please wake up and see it for what it is. You will fail. In the process, you'll become a massive obstacle in the personal relationship of your children with Christ - and there is no greater failure as a parent than this.
It will make you do evil things. It. Is. Evil.
When the people at the top of the movement are slithery snakes...
It. Is. Evil.
When the formulas the system promotes require role-playing, like a bad local theater troupe, dressed up in Victorian/Antebellum wardrobe, performing the story of "Christianity - Fundamentalist Style" replete with script terminology like "maiden", "damsel", "courtship", and the like, when it thrusts unqualified and incapable people into rigid and specific roles, setting them up for legendary failure, insisting that any other way is worldly...
It. Is. Evil.
The practitioners of "biblical" patriarchy are, in my opinion, the most dangerous group of people in America, posing a greater threat to our freedoms and liberties than anyone in the Middle-East, even if those caught up in it have done so unwittingly. This doesn't even take the spiritual poison into account.
It's apostasy. It's idolatry. It's the straight and narrow-minded way.
It. Is. Evil.
You'll find no patience or sympathy for "biblical" patriarchy here.
Only for it's victims - of whom, I am one.
Editorial and commentary on Christian culture, religious and political fundamentalism, and more.
I can so relate to what you are saying here.
ReplyDeleteYou must hate us if you don't live the life of being pigeon holed. I can't do it, and they hate me for it. They chant the freedom, and yet tell you if you can't 'feel it' you have a problem with God - not them.
Why not celebrate the unique nature of people like Jesus does? They are so afraid of opening their minds and hearts, and sadly they miss so much that God would have them see.
God molds me each day, and he knows the box will never fit.
Bravo. Thank you for speaking so strongly.
ReplyDeleteDo you often find patriarchy adherents who claim they aren't one of "those people?" :) Because I know that my parents would've said that they weren't this way, that their kids are fine.
And, honestly, looking at us now you could almost think that they were successfull parents. Two children in the ministry, one living at home *as ministry* and out of 8 kids only one who is a pothead. But that outward veneer that people see isn't what really goes on with patriarchy. Let me tell you no one but Sam has seen me in the middle of the night crying, telling him I want a therapist.
Yeah, it looks good. But it's not.
Amen, Brother Lewis. Amen. Anything that reeks of the Pharisees and its law is abhorrent. It's why Paul said "If righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died needlessly." (Gal. 2:21).
ReplyDeleteThank you,
Karen
Amen. This movement is causing His little ones to stumble, and Jesus used language just as strong as yours with regards to that.
ReplyDeleteI will add my gratitude to the mix. Thanks for speaking so plainly Lewis.
ReplyDeleteI run across people all the time who claim that their family is not "that bad", who insist they are doing patriarchy right.
It's a delusion of course. But since they long ago cut everyone out of their lives who is not in agreement with them on their heresies, it's easy for them to hold on to the delusion.
So sad.
That was STRONG! It took courage. Thank you for writing it and praise God for raising you up for this purpose. I know the process through which He led you was not easy. I will pray for you and your willingness to speak the Truth whatever the cost.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your bravery and courage and passion. Christendom needs your voice and perspective. May God bless you and give you wisdom as you continue to tackle these difficult topics...keep going, brother.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for speaking out so bravely and pointedly, Lewis!
ReplyDeleteLike Rachel said, only my hubby has seen me and held me in the middle of the night, crying and saying that I need a therapist and NOT jokingly. I don't think that people on the outside and those that condone this lifestyle truly understand that damage that it does to its victims, especially the female ones.
My time growing up in patriarchy affects me every day of my life. Even after all these years. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about some aspect of it. My parents are no longer in this lifestyle, but what you said about these families is so true. They crumble.
I so appreciate you taking the time to speak out, tell your painful story and give others the opportunity to tell theirs. I agree with you that these are some of the most dangerous people in this country. So many people don't have any idea.
It's truly an evil system. Pure evil.
"It isn't a sin for your adult child to become an adult independent of your control. You will end up using the bible as a weapon against your own children, using emotional leverage, using guilt, and essentially making your child's life hell. The system crumbles entirely if you can't control the lives of your children."
ReplyDeleteTrue, Very, very, true!
Wow, Lewis, glad you told us what you really think. ;) And thank you for it. The more I see parents severing their relationships with their adult children because they refused to toe the line, the more my heart breaks and the angrier I get at a system that dupes people into thinking that this is OK!! Even righteous! God help them.
ReplyDeleteOnce again, let the Church say AMEN!
ReplyDeleteBased on the crescendo of approbation in these responses, it is clear who your audience is, an audience that would agree; therefore your comments are hardly “courageous”. You are preaching to the choir. A lot of invective, “name calling” and ad-homonym attacks in your post. Patriarchy is a biblical concept. Likewise, there is much biblical support for family oriented churching and courtship. Yet, particular family implementations of patriarchy may be overly authoritative and not “biblical” much like anything else in the Church. My neighbor is a “patriarch”, if you will, attends a family-oriented church, but is no dictator in his home (if that is the kind of thing you are getting at). I fear your flushing the baby with the bath water. I know several successfully implement principles of courtship, family oriented congregations, “patriarchy” (though you do not define the use of this term in our rant) and all are well adjusted. I also know of a few instances where it is abusive, and one in particular comes to me for counsel (OBTW, I did counsel him to move out of his home). Yet, the existence of extremes in any “orthodoxy” does not mean that that the orthodoxy and corresponding lifestyle/philosophy is unbiblical. Will the author similarly “rant” about the libertine excesses of most of Evangelical Christianity? WL&R, ASOA
ReplyDeleteAnonymous...There is no baby in the bathwater. I repeat:there is no baby in the bathwater.
ReplyDelete"Based on the crescendo of approbation in these responses, it is clear who your audience is, an audience that would agree; therefore your comments are hardly “courageous”. You are preaching to the choir."
Except for today, obviously, when you decided to become a part of my audience. You'd be surprised who reads here given the views and opinions I express.
If you want to question my courage, perhaps you shouldn't do so as "anonymous".
"A lot of invective, “name calling” and ad-homonym attacks in your post."
Lots of personal experience, too. If you knew the "names" I've been called by "godly" patriarchs, and the personal actions that have been taken against me, it'd make your toenails pop off and you'd probably suggest I turn it up a notch. You'll receive no apologies for my pointedness in discussing the issues.
"Patriarchy is a biblical concept."
Should I accept your view of patriarchy as "biblical" merely because you say it's a biblical concept? Adultery is a biblical concept, for that matter. So is slavery. The question should be "is it a biblical teaching or instruction?" It isn't, and you should know that.
You're intent is to defend a culture and a lifestyle choice. Mine isn't. I'm more worried about it's victims.
"Likewise, there is much biblical support for family oriented churching and courtship.
No, there isn't. If there were, we wouldn't be having this discussion. There are a few proof-texts that may be used to support and undergird family churching, but absolutely nothing that moves courtship out of meddling territory. For the record, I have no problem with family devotions or what have you. I have a problem with "worldview" indoctrination rather than emphasis on growth in Christ.
"Yet, the existence of extremes in any “orthodoxy” does not mean that that the orthodoxy and corresponding lifestyle/philosophy is unbiblical."
Let's be clear - the entire "orthodoxy" is the extreme.
"Will the author similarly “rant” about the libertine excesses of most of Evangelical Christianity?
This author "rants" about many things. He's just seen few as aberrant, evil, and destructive as "biblical" patriarchy.
If you want to take part here, and you plan to espouse aberrant beliefs in your comments, you'll sign your name to them or in the future they'll be deleted. I'll leave this one up, but that courtesy won't be extended beyond this single instance.
Good Grief,
ReplyDelete"Yet, the existence of extremes in any “orthodoxy” does not mean that that the orthodoxy and corresponding lifestyle/philosophy is unbiblical.'
Here we Go again...let's see, OK then, let's put it This way shall we, I luv relativism, don't you,
Yet, the existence of extremes in any “orthodoxy” Islam does not mean that that the orthodoxy and corresponding lifestyle/philosophy is wrong, Of Course Not! Just because there are
some 8 year old girls who don't like rape don't mean that we should ban child marriage, or just because some girls it takes hours for death being stoned by little stones for refusing marriage to grandpa don't mean we should do away with Stoning in Sharia Law,
OR, let's see, just because this man rapes a child don't mean we should ban child porn, after all the porn didn't make him do it,
or just because Stalin purged millions doesn't mean all totalitarianism is bad,
etc etc etc
after all a few bad apples, we shouldn't throw out the baby with the bath water, oh no,
just because a Few were innocent during the inquisition or witch hunts doesn't man we should do away with state torture,
or just because there are bad kings doesn't mean we should do away with Monarchy,
btw Anon, shouldn't you Repent of rebelling and go Back to monarchy--it was after all, Orthodoxy.
it's Sad that one has to even use these examples to point out-what is wrong with the 'just because a few bad apples' justification for protecting Blatant human right abuses,
Jane
BTW anon, the problem with Biblical patriarchy as you so claim it [and those like you] is the lack of Accountability [even homeschoolers are Supposed to be Accountable to LAW in Every state, fact],
ReplyDeleteand the fact that on one hand the pro-patriarchs preach/scream in fact a man's right to rule/women submit and all that jazz,
yet Ignore the OTHER SCRIPTURES ON 'OBEY AUTHORITIES' and guess what,
abusing wives, children, domestic violence, IS AGAINST THE LAW IN EVERY STATE,
so--I find it Amazing how they love to wrap around this propping up 'men' as gods and kings yet on the other hand they snub their noses at government and authorities and ignore Those scriptures,
which were ordained By GOD and for accountability. Which is Why yes I DO support the State having THE right to press charges against churches and ministries for
accessory to murder, child rape, child abuse, domestic violence,
and I support all efforts to pass laws that HOLD those accountable for contributing, protecting and hiding such abuses.
And I am not the only one--our numbers are growing. And I find it absolutely amazing how those who scream 'authority' orthodoxy worship the loudest,
are the very ones, that scream against Any government accountability--while I do NOT support a police nanny state, I place the blame for the increase of the police nanny state to those who
abuse the very freedoms that God granted, all so that they can prop up a false orthodoxy, with men as 'gods'.
Jane
I hate the saying "Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater". I hear it quite often, and every time I do, I want to EXPLODE.
ReplyDelete"THERE IS NO BABY!" Well put, Lewis!!
I also get told not to be critical of others. That also drives me crazy, because sometimes things NEED to be criticized!! If it's harmful, hurtful, ungodly, cult-like, works based, and generally BAD, then shouldn't I speak the TRUTH and denounce it?
Isn't speaking the truth better than ignoring a huge problem and keeping silent? If I do ignore it, aren't I in a round-a-bout way contributing to the problem?
I admit I need to learn how to speak the truth in love, I'm much better at being abrasive and stark than being loving when I speak.... but I'm a work in progress.
Love your blog. I'm your newest follower.
I'm tempted to make defensive patriarchalist bingo cards, and "baby with the bathwater" would make a nice middle square.
ReplyDeleteKnow what else is a Biblical concept? Polygamy!
Know your fellow Christian fundamentalists, Anonymous: http://www.christianpolygamy.info/christian-polygamy/
Wow, I love this post. Thank you for being courageous & truthful. Amen to everything.
ReplyDeleteDude. You. Are. Awesome!!!! Right on the money. I sincerely appreciate your depth and understanding of true Christianity. We are all unique in God's eyes and never was there a mold built that is the one true Christian. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI had a really bad experience with Mormonism, which prescribes a different role-playing script but prescribes one just the same. In my case I was raised in it, and only became free last year.
ReplyDeleteIn my case it helped that I had an extremely close relationship with deity. I believed it to be Heavenly Father, and I now feel that it was the Shinto goddess Inari. I'm grateful for her help.
Because of my personal background and beliefs, I don't like the idea that Jesus is the only god that's worth worshiping. I feel that insisting that only you have the right and true path is a thing that fundamentalists do. If your goal is to become one with the Christian god, though, I can see why he'd be appealing.
I like what I've read of your blog. It reminds me of what I went through. Please keep up the good work of warning people, and helping them see what Jesus was really like.