With that title, what else could I be writing about but the Purity Movement?
My thoughts about the Purity Movement, covered here a little over a year ago, haven't changed. Never will change, actually. I still consider the Purity Movement (and all else within the Christian homeschooling movement) to be life in a jar...
"when you plant a seed in a jar, you sentence the plant that will result to a best case scenario of growing into the shape of the jar - but NEVER exceeding it. No matter how much the sprigs and shoots want to spread out and reach toward the sun that shines on them and gives them life, the jar forms a barrier that prevents it.
And such are the children of Purity. Until the glass walls shatter, they're doomed to a life of emotional ignorance and dysfunction, maybe even sexual dysfunction, and religious addiction and its associated baggage.
Elizabeth Esther wrote this great piece a few days ago, and it really resonated with me. I saw all of these things in my own deal - only from the other side of the glass, and without knowing where the ignorance and dysfunction originated. Since people still occasionally ask about the Purity stuff, and motivated by EE's great handling of the issue, I thought I'd add just a few more thoughts about all of it. As always, I'll be blunt (probably too blunt for some - so be it - you'll survive).
Any parent who forces their children into this culture is a horrible, horrible parent. Even worse, a horrible human being capable of doing horrible damage to other human beings, and who will do horrible damage to other human beings - especially their own children. If you've forced your children into this culture, you suck. You suck on many levels. You suck because of what you're allowing completely useless, senseless, and anti-Christ religious nonsense and zealotry make of you, and what you're trying to make of others because of your zealotry. You suck. I don't give a rat's ass about your intentions.
Any environment where love is a bad thing and to be feared is an insanely unhealthy environment. Any environment where feelings are to be feared is an insanely unhealthy environment. Any environment that only gives place to "approved" emotions is an insanely unhealthy environment. Any environment that teaches that emotions can be turned on or off is not just insanely unhealthy but also rabidly ignorant. Any environment that teaches that God will either "put in" or "take out" of your heart the proper emotions is a religiously diseased and emotionally ignorant environment. Any environment that teaches you that if you follow the proper formula, do x, y, and z, that the proper emotions will then develop is a domain ruled by emotionally unhealthy and ignorant religious addicts. Any environment that teaches you that if you marry the man your father (or authority figures) approves of, or "God's man" (or woman) for you, that love will then develop, well, it's unhealthy, ignorant, stupid, destructive, toxic, and about a thousand other adjectives that could describe its rancid mental and emotional necrosis.
How are people supposed to be emotionally healthy, and sexually healthy, in an environment where sex goes from the very worst thing a person could EVER do to the most wonderful thing a person can do, and the only thing that changes the dynamic are a few vows, a ring, and a few words from a preacher? That's a recipe for one effed up sex life (pun intended). When the value of a person is determined by whether or not they're "sexually pure" (or even "emotionally pure"), there really are no values - because people have become of no value, with the single exception of their ability to create new people to be indoctrinated. Then again, in a culture where marriage is founded on godly procreation and godly indoctrination rather than on being with the person your heart and soul loves, values shouldn't really be expected to have any substance.
If you consider love to be "an emotional thing", you're in trouble as a human being. Big trouble.
If any of this describes your environment, get out now. Shatter the glass and never look back. Go somewhere that you, as a person, as an individual, are valued more than a cultic religious or sociopolitical paradigm.
Your feelings matter. YOU matter.