There's Crazy, and Then There's FIC Crazy

Courtesy of the folk at the National Center for Family Integrated Churches, we have yet another sign that the Apocalypse may indeed be upon us. O.M.G.


Perhaps they just made a really poor choice for a title, but God help us all, preparing a 2 year old for marriage? What the...?! At 2 years old you should be learning how to go poopy in the potty, learning to not eat boogers, learning to talk without spitting, and playing with blocks and Legos. 


This kinda crap is just more evidence of just how uptight this crowd is. (I'd pay an enormous sum of money to see Zach Galifianakis do his stand-up routine at a Family Integrated Church, or at a VF or Gothard conference)


A couple quotes of note...

It is folly to think that we can wait until our children are on the brink of marriage to communicate to them a Biblical vision of courtship and marriage.

Folly? Really? Folly? Proverbs a lot, do ya? Speak English, please. Not a legalistic, uptight version of Christianese. And I got news for ya - You can wait until your kids are retired and you still won't be able to communicate to them a "Biblical vision of courtship". It doesn't exist. It's a figment of your religiously addicted imagination. Besides, 2 years old ain't exactly on the brink of marriage in any culture I know of.


I'm curious if they start training them on the sexual aspects at such a young age. I mean, in a system resourced by rapid, rabid procreation, sex is the most important element, no? At what age is it "biblically" appropriate to let them know precisely what their ha-has and hoo-hoos are for?

The world doesn’t wait; It begins attempting to instill an unbiblical, romanticized view of marriage in your children from their earliest years.

No fear mongering there. Yep. That's exactly what the world does. In fact, I think there was a board meeting for the leaders of "the world" a while back where they decided to do that very thing. So, if you don't learn to control the mind of and brainwash your child early, you're definitely gonna lose them to the world. It's a conspiracy, I tell ya. {SA}

Employing an array of passages primarily from the book of Proverbs, Mr. Sides demonstrated that in scripture the language that’s used to describe wisdom is largely the same language used elsewhere to describe a good wife. It is imperative that parents teach their children to pursue and love wisdom as a training ground for courting a wife in future years.

There's the Proverbs infatuation rearing it's legalistic head. Don't get me wrong, I love the Proverbs. I also realize that they weren't written to me specifically, but were written to and for the Holy Spirit-less children of Solomon in most cases, and to and for some other Holy Spirit-less people in a few other cases. It would be more than a little spiritually immature for me, a believer with access to the Holy Spirit, to use the Proverbs as a rulebook for life rather than as a supplement.


I've always wondered how the Proverbs worshipers feel about drinking. I mean, there's this in Proverbs 31...

⁴ It is not for kings, O Lemuel, to guzzle wine.
      Rulers should not crave alcohol.
 ⁵ For if they drink, they may forget the law
      and not give justice to the oppressed.
 ⁶ Alcohol is for the dying,
      and wine for those in bitter distress.
 ⁷ Let them drink to forget their poverty
      and remember their troubles no more.

Are they ok with booze as a numbing agent for people in peril, whether physical, emotional, financial, what have you? Do they consider it "godly"? It's obviously "biblical", but is it "godly"?


From where I sit, it's kinda hard to argue that the FIC crowd isn't a cult.