Monday, September 24, 2012

Simple Measuring Stick

I've offered this kind of observation before, but more toward specific facets of P/QF and Christian homeschooling. Since there seems to be a broader range of readers here now, I thought I might offer this in a simple form that applies across the whole spectrum of religious belief.

To Christian parents...

If you have a child (or children) who chooses a different path in life than Christianity (while still living a productive life of decency toward others), and this would in ANY way change your behavior toward or acceptance of this child, then you are a spiritually and emotionally abusive parent, or a spiritually or emotionally abusive parent just waiting for the opportunity to happen. You're also a religious addict with an unhealthy form of "faith".

The same would apply to parents of ALL faiths.

I think it really is that simple, and sadly I think this kind of problem is pervasive even in mainstream evangelical Christianity. It isn't exclusive to the fundamentalist kooks, even if the norm there.

People MUST be more valuable than paradigm.


  1. Thank you, Lewis. I couldn't agree more.

  2. Yes.

    I think Jesus articulated this principle when He said, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath."

  3. Love this! It really is that simple.

  4. I would say this applies to more than just Christianity - it applies to any life decision. Witness the parents who cut off their children who come out as gay, or the children who struggle against their orientation. Or even the men and women who are miserable because they chose the career Mummy and Daddy wanted for them rather than the one they wanted.

    If your child is a decent person, you should love them no matter what.


  5. Bingo, and yes, you are right about having a wider variety of readers. I'm a semi-closeted agnostic and a blogger myself.

  6. As a Mom to four 20 have got to say that I have a Son who is totally on a different point of view when it comes to politics then the rest of the family.Do I love my son? You better believe it!! I also home-schooled them. They have their own minds..You cannot dictate the life of a grown kid.It is really sad to see people do this.I have a 23 yr.old son who is engaged.You would not believe the comments I get from people who ask me if "I know where holding hands" can lead. When someone told me that I CAN TELL HIM NOT TO..hold hands..because he still lives in my home..I had to tell her that I don't consider holding hands a sin..she no longer speaks to me.I don't

  7. This really speaks to me; only one of my siblings wasn't home-schooled and he was always the "problem child" because he disagreed with the Church teachings and worried that the rest of us were isolated w/o public school...Then he got into drugs so from then on it was a clear black and white mentality my parents suggested--he was corrupted by public schooling and every thing that he thought was wrong (i.e. liberalism, agnosticism). For us, moving beyond our family's dogma meant you'd end up like him, an addict whom mom and dad would never truly listen to and constantly mistreat.

    1. forgive my bluntness, but i would say it this is the epitome of the chicken-egg question - as in, did he get into trouble because they were already treating as if he WAS that way, since he questioned?
      i know many, many people who do this. they're treated as if they ARE whatever bad thing, so they decide they might as well be punished for the actual crime, since they're being punished anyway.

      so sad...

  8. Forget something so big as being an non-Christian. Even decent people like my parents, once they adhere to the lifestyle, will come unglued if a child departs from ANY of the elements of the lifestyle. A child can remain a fairly conservative Christian, be an active church member, marry within the faith, have kids, home school them, and yet miss one facet, and they are nagged and disapproved until they either comply or decide to severely limit the relationship. Personal experience here...