I don't think there's any gray area where I stand on courtship. It's stupid on steroids, immature, and maybe THE single dumbest concept that's come out of the Christian homeschooling movement (in conjunction with the whole idea of "emotional purity").
Here is the courtship, dating, and emotional purity formula of one Christian homeschooling movement mom - not that it's really any different from that of 95% of Christian homeschoolers. It just serves as a good example of the craziness. To be fair, I don't think this lady's intent is to harm her children. I don't think ANY parent (or at least the majority) says, "I wanna screw up my kids bigtime!" Nonetheless, this woman and her husband are establishing a foundation through which they're well on their way to royally effing up their children - emotionally, mentally, spiritually. Sadly, her whole formula is based on a woeful misapplication of Matthew 5:27-28, where Jesus was trying to make a point about humanity in contrast to "biblical law", not trying to replace old biblical law with new, more hardline biblical law. The point of the passage is that ALL of us are human and imperfect. It isn't and wasn't a charge to fight in total futility (because it would absolutely be a futile fight) against our own humanity. That would make Jesus and all Jesus represents more than a little irrelevant. These parents are obviously religious addicts and imbiblers, and as such, a religious threat to the overall well-being of their children. Intent has nothing to do with the eventual outcome.
I can't help but think of just how many of you reading this still carry the baggage and scars of fighting in futility against your own humanity for years, striving to win some kind of favor from God through "purity and holiness" and perfection.
At one point she says, "Courtship means different things to different people", which isn't really true at all. They all look pretty much the same. Most of the article is really spiritually, emotionally, and socially bassackward, but let's look at a couple of her lists...Under the heading "Some ideas before courtship"...
And then, under the heading "Some courting ideas"...
These parents aren't "protecting their children". They're protecting the indoctrination of their children, trying to create SuperChristian clones, rendering the Holy Spirit useless in trying to shape and control the Christianity of their children in a world where genuine critical thought is the enemy. Their children, like all children in the Christian homeschooling movement, will suffer for it. Their family is, in and of itself, a religious, mind-control cult.
You can't, and shouldn't, answer parents like this with more bible - unless you'd offer more crack to a crack addict. They don't need more of the drug, or a better application of the drug. The drug needs to be cut off, the mind and body needs to detox, and then they can start over.
Her children have NO chance at a healthy, normal emotional life without massive amounts of baggage. They'll have to go through some severe, maybe even brutal, turbulence to get anywhere near anything that could be considered normal or healthy. I pity them. The sooner they "rebel", the better, because maybe then they can begin to detoxify and heal at an earlier age.
Not much more I can say about it.
Earlier this week, a FB friend shared this...
The level of emotionalism and ignorance (as a by-product of emotionalism) in that is extreme. It's a bigoted, misleading, and intellectually dishonest statement in a number of ways. Let's look at a few of those ways...
99.999% of Muslims would never even consider flying a plane into a building. The vast majority have NO desire to harm another individual. Only a handful of radical, fundamentalist Muslims have ever flown planes into buildings - roughly the same number as the number of radical, fundamentalist Christians who've bombed government buildings, abortion clinics, and anything else they've deemed as "ungodly" over the last couple of decades.
The guy who posted it is a fairly new convert to Christianity. About a decade ago, he was touring as a sideman, most likely boozing and smoking a lot of weed, with one of the more popular rock bands in the world. I think his conversion to Christianity has happened in the last couple of years, and with it, there's almost an emotionalistic blowback against anything viewed as "unChristian", an emotionalistic attachment to all things conservative Republican, and a lot of what most rational people would view as "hate" toward, and fear of, anything outside of the newly adopted paradigm. Almost mentally militant.
This kind of emotionalism is fairly common to new converts of ALL faiths, and even to new converts to atheism. When something is new, we're generally more emotional and passionate about it, more irrationally protective of it. To me, it's a sign of a certain level of immaturity, because with time and maturity, although our core views may not change all that much, our ability to see beyond the surface of them - to view them in context, in 3D rather than 2D, becomes more pronounced and nuanced. I look at a guy like Kirk Cameron, for instance. To me, he's an example of someone who's never grown in his faith of choice. He's the same black and white guy he was back when he converted to Christianity and freaked out all of his Growing Pains castmates who loved him by becoming odd and irrational. He even "witnesses" like a new convert...no real context, everything in black and white. It's sad to see that kind of personal stagnation in any dynamic.
People desperately need to grow past emotionalism. While still in the infancy stages of whatever you've converted to, the emotionalism aspect makes you fertile ground to be blown in any emotional or doctrinal/theological direction. It's not very stable, and that's when people can become dangerous because of their beliefs.