I'm taking a few days off from more serious writing to handle a couple of other areas of ever-intruding "real life", and to try to get a couple nights worth of decent sleep so I can stop looking like a poor impersonation of a crack addict;) In the meantime, I thought another version of the GBU would fit in nicely. Lots of GBUable material out there.
The Good
My friend Erika tells her story at My Savvy Sisters. Erika is and will be a regular contributor there. CoM friend Cindy Kunsman has made some contributions there as well.
Speaking of Cindy, she's been posting some great stuff of late at Under Much Grace. Nice to see her writing again. She's one of the best.
The ladies at The Wartburg Watch have been writing some compelling and thought provoking articles lately. Some of you might particularly have interest in some recent articles there concerning Mark Driscoll.
Eliza, a new contributor at Quivering Daughters, has begun a weekly series on Bill Gothard and ATI. Very informative and well worth your time to read.
For those of you escaping spiritual abuse and oppression, a new blog, appropriately named Free To Think, would be a good place to visit. The author's husband also shares some interesting perspectives on his own blog.
A few weeks ago I came across a blog written by a young lady named Amy. Her family spent a bit of time on the outskirts of the patriarchy teachings, saw them for what they were, and thankfully got away from it. She has a recent article on our old favorite guilt-inducer and thought stopper, "Speaking the truth in love", that's well worth the read.
The Bad
This. Umm. Yeah. Wow. I'll go on record and say that link goes to one of the worst, maybe THE worst, of "the Bads" I've ever posted. I addressed the disturbing weekly "blessing ritual" of this family in this post a couple of months back, but these New Year resolutions/prayer requests are just...wow. Especially disturbing when you get to the kids and their resolutions/prayer requests. For all of the children wrongfully removed from their homes around this nation, frankly, I think that might be the ONLY hope for any of these kids to have a normal, emotionally healthy, and certainly spiritually healthy life. Total Imbiblers. I feel so sorry for these children.
Then, there's this from Patriarchal Grand Poopy Geoff Botkin. Pretty low rent. I read "Band of Brothers" shortly after it was published almost 20 years ago, and I've been the proud owner of the HBO box set of the "Band of Brothers" miniseries for almost 10 years, having watched it so many times that I've nearly memorized the dialog. Major Winters is, in my opinion, a true hero of American and international freedoms, and I think it's pretty disgusting for Botkin to use the man's memory and legacy to promote the poisonous VF ideas of "manhood"...especially when Major Winters himself would likely think Botkin and the VF crowd are as batcrap crazy as the rest of us do.
The Ugly
I can't think of any logical reason that the following should've ever happened...
I can see this poor, attractive young lady saying to herself at the start - "Dang this intro's long! Keep smiling! Dang it! Keep Smiling!" I first came across the following video of her at Christian Nightmares...
I can't say for certain, but I get a real "beauty pageant kid" vibe from her, as if maybe she was pushed into a performance track in her life by parents or someone else, a life track that, beyond being physically attractive, she's not really equipped for talent-wise. Lord knows I've seen a case or two of that in my own music career. It never ends well.
This one doesn't deal with religion, but, love Dubya or hate him, this is some funny stuff...
and...
The Extra
Enjoy...
Editorial and commentary on Christian culture, religious and political fundamentalism, and more.
That first one under "The Bad" made me gasp several times. Planning which year your child should get saved??? Maybe that's not how they meant it, but still!
ReplyDeleteAnd that "work, work, work on our heart relationship with God"? Ummm...that didn't work for me. :P My heart relationship with God started when GOD came and showed me His unconditional love. The only thing I did was to let Him in.
That list of what everyone in that family wants to accomplish for the year sounds like the father's list for them. Like he made a mutiple choice list of things they could work on that were approved by him and they had to pick and choose.
ReplyDeleteThe family list was a bit bizarre, too. Especially the part about Dad going through the bible 10 times in the year. Can someone say, "works?" Perhaps they should add to their list, "total inability to think for ourselves and deny the Holy Spirit to lead in my children's lives."
And that poor kid who thinks he has to work on making his ready for salvation.
That list of what everyone in that family wants to accomplish for the year sounds like the father's list for them. Like he made a mutiple choice list of things they could work on that were approved by him and they had to pick and choose.
ReplyDeleteI think that's exactly it, Erika. They've probably heard some of these things so often that they've just adopted them (their father's desires for them) as their own.
It reminds me of the first time I met my ex's family. I asked the four sisters if they wanted to pursue careers in music, and surprise surprise, they all wanted to do mission work and become "godly" wives and mothers. I needed my "What the...?!" bubble. I made some kind of crack like "has there been a memo issued that I missed?" or something along those lines. Needless to say, no one got the joke.
I don't think the kids themselves wrote those lists, and certainly not unaided if they indeed did. The very fact that there are repeating phrases would point to one author: "For my heart to be turned inward more toward my family". Kids don't write like that anyways, and I doubt kids would give that level of response. I don't know their ages, but I do know when I was eight, my siblings and I had to write down various problem behaviors/sins that we wanted to work on. I just wrote down as many sins as I could think of. My point is that at eight (and I was a fairly bright, introspective kid too) I could not have written anything on that level.
ReplyDeleteAlso pointing to a parent author (as well as weird) was "That my parents will teach me to stop screaming and have self-control." The "parents will teach" just strikes me as really odd phrasing.
This one, however, was the most troubling "That I would come to know the Lord as my personal savior this year, to be given a servants heart for others". Firstly, people can't really plan when to accept the Lord. If the Lord is drawing you, you do it then (which also points to a parent author because a kid who knows they need a savior is also aware of the condition of his/her heart). Secondly, it seems odd to me that a second goal to be worked on is a "servant's heart" that didn't come out of nowhere- it's probably something that has been worked on. Which is interesting because it's a lot to expect someone to act like a Christian if he/she doesn't have the Holy Spirit working in his/her life.
Lewis, I always used to give people that same line myself, "I want to be a godly wife and mother." I always kind of felt like I was sort of faking when I said that, because I wasn't sure that motherhood was really what I wanted right away. Don't get me wrong, motherhood is fine, but I thought birth control was spiritually wrong for the longest time and so to me, getting married was just having lots of kids and nothing else. Well, that and trying to be submissive to a husband who was chiefly interested in me only because of physical attraction and nothing else. That's how these patriarchical teachings really do make a girl feel. If the godliest thing is to be a mother and a submissive wife...and guys are really mainly preoccupied with sex and will mainly just be interested in a girl because of that...marriage becomes sad and shallow and undesirable for a girl. But the girls at the same time are trained to think, "Oh, yes I must be a godly wife and mother; that is the most spiritual calling for every young lady." It's a very destructive and hurtful mindset.
ReplyDeleteAnother frustrating thing is, my parents never intended to teach me some of this mindset, but it occurred without their having to try, just because of the Vision Forum and Gothard reading material that was in our house.
And that yodeling video...WOW, that hurts my ears.
Oh my.........
ReplyDelete"to stop murmuring and like cleaning my room"
"That my parents will teach me to stop screaming and have self-control."
"The three Fs" "First, Fast, Face" That's a new acronym for me, but obviously same old obey or die teachings. What happened to "J-O-Y"
I'm afraid to look and see how old these kids are. I was the one who posted the original "blessing post" this at one forum. I am still reeling in horror and this makes it even worse.
"Well, that and trying to be submissive to a husband who was chiefly interested in me only because of physical attraction and nothing else."
ReplyDeleteIt would surprise me in that movement if that was the purpose of marriage for a man. Sex was beaten out of me as being dirty and evil, instead of something pure and exciting. Its not like a man or woman can flip the switch from sex being evil to sex being good the moment the marriage is sealed with a kiss. For a woman to be desired by her husband in that movement would be an awesome thing - even a spark of hope that they may have an open mind to something better.
What I saw and knew intimately in men was the expectation that their wives would obey them. The wives were pretty much expected to be a bear rug - pregnant and barefoot 100% of the time. To me, that is much worse than being desired, not to mention being desired for being attractive!
I am not defending patriarchy by any means (*hack and spit). I just enjoy seeing a marriage where both parties enjoy each other physically, regardless of religious ideals. And I never saw that in patriarchy.
I guess my point is that I see that mindset in men more in a Hollywood-istic relationship than patriarchy.
BUT! I agree with your assessment of the stupidity of only being able to be a wife and a mother - submissive wife to be exact.
I don't understand why the youngest child knows how to write. These peeps aren't good Quiverers. We should have had to keep scrolling and scrolling and scrolling until the last kid started typing in ga ga goo ga's. Sheesh! Someone should talk to them about how the lord opens the womb.
ReplyDeleteWhat was with the whole "turn my heart inward toward my family" thing? That was a little weird. And reminiscent of my childhood and parents harping on the fact that we should like our family better than any friends and if we couldn't get along with our siblings, we'd be grounded from our friends. :P
ReplyDeleteWhat I get from that "article" by Fruitcake Botkin" is that becoming a man for us is unattainable. After all, we don't live in the 1800's. So much talk in that movement has to do with what people have done for hundreds, even thousands, of years, that being the reason to keep doing whatever it is you're comparing to modern times. This philosophy branches into the medical realm, clothing (anything external, for that matter), hygiene (organic and salt block deodorant come to mind anyone?), debt, you name it. Except when it doesn't suit their needs. The wisest person in the church was always the old lady who had the most tinctures, ozone machines, browning teeth, gray skin, and heck...was probably married to a chiropractor.
ReplyDeleteI had to keep shaking my head at Geoff Botkin. Its sad that he lives in such a small world, and is around so many 'real' men that are a dying breed. Sigh.
ReplyDeleteHis writing reminded me a male oriented 'romance' novel.
I mean: raised their farm boy to grow into maturity — a kind of maturity very common to the men of colonial and frontier America. They imparted this American legacy to their son. Winters later entered the US military in 1941 with the fully developed character of a man. The pressures of deadly combat did not “make a man of him.” He was already a man. He took the American version of manhood with him into war, and he influenced history. Enemy bullets and bayonets only sharpened his sense of duty and maturity.
lol I was waiting for the blonde locks of hair blowing in the wind as his big muscles were dripping with his masculine sweat part! (insert women swooning)
Boktin needs to look at our armed forces today, because they also have plenty of Dick Winters breed. We also have good men in this world, and not so good ones just the same as back during this war. There will never be another Dick Winters, but people like him encourage others to carry on. To be better people themselves. As it should be.
When a good decent man passes away? You want to celebrate the man - not the 'manhood' to shame others. You want to remember and celebrate the person that meant so much, and offered so much to others.
I think using someone like that as propaganda, and creating this 'us' against 'them' world is sinful myself. Decent men encourage others to be better people. So this theory about a dying breed? Its the propaganda that needs to die, because that is a lie.
haha, the first thing I always feel when I see things like those prayers and resolutions is still bewilderment. Like... what? And all of that language is just so manipulative and phony. So sad for those children who have learned to regurgitate responses like that.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for listing my post as part of the good. =)
When I read things like what Botkin wrote, I can't help but wonder why the men he raised aren't in the military...
ReplyDeleteChildren hoping to get saved? Must be dad's ideal. Those who hope to find salvation in Christ can get it by praying for it, they don't work towards it or put it new year's resolutions.
ReplyDeleteChildren who hope to have their hearts turned more towards their families? The normal thing is to have your heart turned more outward as you grow up, toward everyone else you meet, to the needs of the world.
@Hannah. Great observation! Thank you. @Brenda. Exactly what creeped me out - the salvation thingy. The inward toward families thing is a gimme in that culture. What else would you say? Morons.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, if you look through that website, you'll see the dad's mother commenting on his posts and calling him 'Son' in some freakishly sick endearing manner. My mother does the same, except that she is really stabbing into my heart a hook-ended matriarchal knife, trying to cut out my freedom and drag me back into the bonds of her own prison, where she considers herself to be free. I look at this man and see that if I just went along with the program, I would receive the same sort of praise from my mother as well. But, as I grow in my knowledge of what true Christianity is, I wouldn't want to have to take a hot soapy shower after every comment of praise from her.
Another thing that bothers me is their daughter, who is fifteen, saying "Yeah! and it was so fun! We wanted daddy to do it again!!!!" in reference to that sick, demented,(candle burning...what the...!?) moronic, laughable, blessing ritual. You have to imagine a kid violently wiggling her head from side to side, bouncing on the balls of her feet, a childish smile pasted on her face, and trilling in a Beethoven 1/64th note cadence. I get the image of a 5 year old stuck in a 15 year old body. This stupid father will not allow his kids to grow up.
As much as they believe in blessings, so much so should they also believe in curses. But, nope. A curse directed toward them from an "un-like minded" individual bounces off them and shatters to the ground. When you get to the bottom of it, the dad is in charge of his world. And his world is how he creates it to be. Fortunately for many of these morons, they are satisfied to scratch eachother's backs and so don't really live in the REAL world where they can lose that control in an instant. This unfortunately proves their point.
May it all pass away.
OH wow... that tap dance... those PANTS... o.O
ReplyDeleteAnd here is the absolutely worst that everyone here MUST watch and become completely sickened with.......
ReplyDeletehttp://www.hulu.com/watch/231215/abc-2020-fri-apr-8-2011
This is what I grew up with and have been in for thirty years and I am so glad I'm out of this mess.
The list the kids made brought back a memory of a letter I read a few years back. A pastor was discouraged with the attitude of the women at his church towards his growing family & so was going to tell his wife that she had to stand up at the next meeting & say what a blessing her family was. I had a fundamentalist mindset at the time but that letter started opening my eyes to what was wrong in my own life. There's a certain amount of coercion involved when you have to pretend to be happy all the time & say the right things to make a system look good, despite how you feel. Now, I don't know how that pastor's wife actually felt, but I realized, like me, she was probably never asked. How I was treated didn't matter. Keeping up godly appearances is what mattered.
ReplyDelete