In the weeks ahead, I'll be writing about the controversial and disturbing issue of Domestic Discipline.
Since my post a few weeks back which included a link to a site about DD, I've had quite an education. First of all, I'd never heard of it referred to as Domestic Discipline, but only as "spanking" or S&M. From what I've been able to gather, DD breaks down into three distinct groups...
First, those who engage in it sexually. In the vast majority of these cases there's mutual consent. While leather, whips, bondage, pain, and such aren't things I'd ever expect to turn my sexual engine, if two consenting adults want to bring it into their marriage, that's their business. I'd hate to think I'd have to play "spanky, spanky" to have a healthy sex life with my spouse, but hey, that's just me. To each his own.
Then, there are those who don't engage in DD for sexual reasons, and at the same time, it has no religious aspect for them. Maybe we can call this "Secular DD" for the sake of this discussion. Usually, although probably at a lesser frequency than sexual DD, there's mutual consent. I've no doubt, however, that some men use it in an abusive manner to control their wives/girlfriends. Also, any woman who would submit to spankings, beltings, and whippings, what have you, and do so with no ties to sexuality or religion, but just to be "disciplined" or "corrected" - well, that woman has emotional deficiencies that no belt, paddle, or bare hand will ever correct. It's an emotional sickness, and in my estimation, with no condescending motive, these women need professional help.
Finally, there's religious, or "Christian", DD. Often, this form of DD is in no way genuinely consensual, but rather the "consent" comes in the form of fearing another beating or punishment. Much of the religious form of DD traces back to Mormonism and other fringe, isolationist, and aberrant groups, with an emphasis on the prominence of the position of men in authority over women, grossly misusing and misappropriating scriptures such as those found in Ephesians 5.
I want to dive into this issue for a couple of reasons...1) to possibly help or encourage women trapped in DD environments while educating others that something so spiritually perverse is out there, and 2) to demonstrate just how much of a kissing cousin DD is to the poisonous, authority-based, apostate doctrines associated with the patriarchal and dominionist movements I normally write about. Frankly, it's become somewhat personal to me.
If any DD practitioners or supporters, particularly those of the religious persuasion, want to come here and argue the consent issue with me, consider yourselves preemptively shut down. I'm not speaking from my own perspective about the issue of consent in DD, but simply relaying the message straight from the mouths of the women I've dealt with in the previous weeks.
NO woman deserves or merits being beaten or punished into compliance by any man. It's particularly disturbing that some fringe sectors of the church community actually endorse as much, and attach this disgusting practice in any fashion to the name of Christ - when Christ has already taken the punishment due to ALL of us, male or female.