tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post5583139405936080074..comments2024-01-04T15:56:19.156-05:00Comments on Commandments of Men: There She Goes AgainLewishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05596138376570543467noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-26007005979541256142010-11-04T18:19:14.925-04:002010-11-04T18:19:14.925-04:00All the comments (the ones that were allowed befor...All the comments (the ones that were allowed before everything went "under construction") are deleted now.<br /><br />If they can't honestly and consistently defend their viewpoint, without repeatedly deleting comments, why start a blog like that in the first place? It's just bizarre.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13031294858454742239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-87947429218181565432010-11-04T17:34:53.747-04:002010-11-04T17:34:53.747-04:00I have to agree with Bean in that the most trying ...I have to agree with Bean in that the most trying part of Stacy's review is using Hillary's sister against her. My sister and I have differing views on our growing up years. My mother was extremely unstable towards me, & my father showed some very blatant favoritism,(such as giving my sister all the family jewelry from his mother and even his own wedding ring. I got nothing.)They would always speak glowingly of her. Although my sister is eight years older, parents can react very differently towards their children who are also close in age.supernalquesthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12995966915803003751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-65289091877713418032010-11-03T19:58:29.776-04:002010-11-03T19:58:29.776-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-28096870737269540362010-11-03T19:50:59.458-04:002010-11-03T19:50:59.458-04:00This is Stacey's reply to my question of why d...This is Stacey's reply to my question of why did she need to dedicate a whole blog to 'over-turn' Hillary's book:<br /><br />"This blog, once it is truly up and running, will be dedicated to speaking the truth and dealing with the real issues. While Hillary makes a lot of false assumptions, we are NOT against Hillary. Yes, I believe Hillary needs to deal with her bitterness and discontent; but, I do not view her as an enemy…I view her as my sister."<br />Grace and Peace<br /><br />My reply:<br />I posted my comment over here as you closed the thread on which I first commented…and please don’t wish me grace and peace…you are speaking out of both sides of your mouth.<br /><br />I consider Hillary a sister. When I interviewed her for my blog, The Cult Next Door I experienced a God-ordained time of renewal and healing. The pain and bitterness I had been holding inside washed away with my weeping. Some life-changing events came out of the conversation. My dear sister helped me through my bitterness…and you have the gall to point the finger?!?!? You have seriously ticked me off, lady.<br /><br />You would be very lucky to have Hillary consider you a sister.<br /><br />Shed some legalism and get some Christ.<br /><br />Oh and btw, I was abused for twenty-plus years by a so-called pastor to the point I almost ended my life.<br /><br />As evil as she is I felt it an affornt to name her in my blog (that and she could sue the pants off me for slander).<br />Maybe you should re-think?The Cult Next Doorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06282235021347524688noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-24765106549622214452010-11-03T16:40:22.580-04:002010-11-03T16:40:22.580-04:00Looks like she moved it.
http://steadfastdaughter...Looks like she moved it.<br /><br />http://steadfastdaughters.wordpress.com/bookreviews/Hannahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15165967476661656865noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-58752326811826202462010-11-03T13:07:01.348-04:002010-11-03T13:07:01.348-04:00I can't believe the blog - well, maybe I can -...I can't believe the blog - well, maybe I can - but what a slap in the face it is for anyone who suffered abuse that was not necessarily physical/sexual. Also rather put out about the publishing of the sister's letter...I don't know what might have gone down between Hillary and Rebekah but it is very sad that it was posted or even written to Stacy at all.Sara Skilesnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-6814490902648426312010-11-03T12:18:11.078-04:002010-11-03T12:18:11.078-04:00Erika, I have some idea of what you went through. ...Erika, I have some idea of what you went through. During my "courtship" with my husband, we were both put through an emotional/spiritual meat grinder.. in a way, I was the 'eldest' one, because I was the first of my sisters who attempted to submit to the idea of parent-guided courtship. It was a <b>disaster</b> of epic proportions. <br /><br />We (my husband and I) weren't allowed to be honest, because we were supposed to "<i>guard our hearts</i>" and not "<i>defraud our future spouse</i>", so we weren't able to say we had feelings for each other, even though we clearly did. We were "<i>just friends,</i>" (I had that pounded into my skull every day) and nothing more until Daddy and Mommy said we could be more. <br /><br />Eventually the craziness got to be too much and I rebelled. My parents wouldn't allow me to meet his family (for over a year and a half since we started courting) (their reasoning was, you don't HAVE to meet the parents of your "friends", so why should I meet his parents), so I started going to his parent's house without my parent's permission. <br /><br />I can remember having an argument with my Mom, and my little sister looked me in the face and said "Why don't you just obey?" She did not understand that I was just trying to LIVE. <br /><br />There was nothing overtly evil or wrong with what I was trying to do. I just wanted to spend time with the man I was in love with! Yet I was being told I was rebellious and sinful for wanting that! I was supposed to want to be with my family all the time, all day every day, and anything less than that was sinful and rebellious. And I was made to feel SO guilty for desiring something good. <br /><br />It was whole boatloads of crazy. <br /><br />Looking back, I would not choose to go through what we went through again... but, at the time, I KNEW Ty truly loved me because of what he was willing to put up with in order to see me. <br /><br />Like Lewis, I have nothing good to say about courtship. My own experience with it was nothing good, only bad, and even the "good" examples I've seen IRL are full of hurt and pain for those involved. I would never recommend it for ANYONE.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13031294858454742239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-7285917885011373442010-11-03T11:40:13.888-04:002010-11-03T11:40:13.888-04:00Oh, and I should mention that my sister and I were...Oh, and I should mention that my sister and I were 20 & 21 (adult women) when my parents ordered us to cut off all contact with the guys (they are brothers). This was all because my dad didn't like the church they were going to.Erika Martin - Stampin' Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15654013636892916062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-9837391318995048002010-11-03T11:38:02.413-04:002010-11-03T11:38:02.413-04:00Bean - Yes, I totally agree with you. My sister an...Bean - Yes, I totally agree with you. My sister and I are the oldest of 4 and being girls AND the oldest, we got the brunt of insanity from the patriarchal lifestyle. To the point that we were ordered by my parents to cut off all contact with the young men that we were "courting" and who my parents approved of at first. <br /><br />My youngest brother years later complained that he had a 1 am curfew. My sister and I never had a curfew because we weren't allowed out of the house without someone to keep us accountable and it certainly wasn't going to be at 1 am! <br /><br />My brothers had it very differently than my sister and I did and can't relate to what we went through. Their upbringing wasn't "as bad" as ours and their memories are far happier than those of my sister and I. <br /><br />I know that Hillary is the oldest of 11 children and just like my sister and I, she bore the brunt of the QF/P lifestyle.Erika Martin - Stampin' Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15654013636892916062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-79016496424008557712010-11-03T11:21:14.263-04:002010-11-03T11:21:14.263-04:00I am particularly troubled at Stacy's use of H...I am particularly troubled at Stacy's use of Hillary's sister's letter as a weapon.<br /><br />I'm not sure where Rebekah falls in the birth order in their family, but if she is much younger than Hillary she would likely have no idea what Hillary went through with their parents. <br /><br />For instance, my parents were extremely strict with my oldest three sisters, refusing to let them watch cartoons or listen to "worldly" music, but by the time my younger siblings and I (I'm the 6th of 12) were older, my parents had mellowed and we were allowed to watch and listen to pretty much anything. If my older siblings wrote a book describing the strictness of their upbringing based on that, I would have no frame of reference to relate to them with. <br /><br />Also, I can remember seeing my older siblings argue and fight with my parents, and as a child I would think "<i>Why don't they just listen to Mom and Dad and then everyone would be happy?</i>" I had no idea why they didn't just obey, because I was a child and had no clue.<br /><br />I'm saddened and disappointed that Rebekah would allow such an derisive letter to be posted as a weapon against her own sister.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13031294858454742239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-20109335642706202282010-11-03T11:10:00.658-04:002010-11-03T11:10:00.658-04:00It seems that only the main page's comments ar...It seems that only the main page's comments are closed...I definitely just submitted a comment on one of the other pages. But it's 'awaiting moderation' so who knows.Bethanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14791763524324073873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-210727877604418472010-11-03T10:45:49.584-04:002010-11-03T10:45:49.584-04:00Darcy - I just noticed that she closed comments ag...Darcy - I just noticed that she closed comments again. She's definitely in for more than she bargained for. <br /><br />So many of us that have been abused through this lifestyle are no longer willing to be quiet or shut down. Enough is enough!Erika Martin - Stampin' Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15654013636892916062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-37560309060231449922010-11-03T09:34:25.738-04:002010-11-03T09:34:25.738-04:00Judging from the comments that have been allowed o...Judging from the comments that have been allowed on her blog so far, she may be in for more than she bargained for......Darcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03702441292981376229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-27859956355504317132010-11-03T09:26:37.711-04:002010-11-03T09:26:37.711-04:00At least Stacy is finally admitting that the word ...At least Stacy is finally admitting that the word "patriocentricity" is a real word with a real definition. Its only taken 4 years....so amused by this.thatmomhttp://www.thatmom.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-77416498493923563062010-11-03T08:46:40.964-04:002010-11-03T08:46:40.964-04:00It always works that way: ostracize, isolate, disc...It always works that way: ostracize, isolate, discredit the ones who have been failed by the system. You wrapped it all up in one catch-phrase, Erika. I will be quoting that for a long time. <br /><br />"The system doesn't fail. YOU fail the system."<br /><br />Ugh.shadowspringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15172112981244682382noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-51062488356096443932010-11-03T07:58:32.732-04:002010-11-03T07:58:32.732-04:00Wow......the whole purpose of her blog is to call ...Wow......the whole purpose of her blog is to call out Hillary and her book? She may try to deny that but her entire welcome post makes it completely clear that's what she's doing. Talk about bitterness and discontent! Stop lying to others AND yourself, Stacy. <br /><br />Stacy really has no idea what it is to truly be a Quivering Daughter. Calling us lazy, selfish, sinful and rebellious is just as abusive as what our parents did to us in the patriarchal lifestyle. For her, it all goes back to, "The system doesn't fail. YOU fail the system." <br /><br />I continue to shake my head at this woman. Shame on her.Erika Martin - Stampin' Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15654013636892916062noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-24291895746932807872010-11-03T02:53:01.224-04:002010-11-03T02:53:01.224-04:00DoaHF...It's interesting that she told you &qu...DoaHF...It's interesting that she told you "I pray for your healing."<br /><br />Since Stacy has an issue with such loosely (in her estimation) defined terms as patriarchy/patriocentricity, I think she should come clean about just what she means by "healing".<br /><br />I suspect that her idea of "healing" for you would be for you to find yourself back under the authority of your father as he practices what she considers biblical patriarchy and not the supposed imposter patriarchy. Anything less of you would seem to be a breach of God's will according to her doctrine, would it not?<br /><br />Since <strong>nothing</strong> scripturally commands or requires any such thing of you as a grown woman...this would seem to render her blog's purpose of being a "biblical" response to Quivering Daughters considerably less than genuine or accurate.<br /><br />The blog's response is <strong>cultural</strong>. HER culture. The neo-conservative, patriocentric culture. There's nothing biblical about it.Lewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05596138376570543467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-73757265961792143682010-11-03T02:25:18.804-04:002010-11-03T02:25:18.804-04:00Ahh...I see that the blog went private perhaps bec...Ahh...I see that the blog went private perhaps because it was "under construction".<br /><br />Keep stitching up that veil, Stace.Lewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05596138376570543467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-19923429383070121002010-11-03T01:28:37.233-04:002010-11-03T01:28:37.233-04:00I don't care what she edited. She makes me an...I don't care what she edited. She makes me angry enough to cry. I can't believe how cruel and heartless she is. And posting that letter from Hillary's sister? She should be ASHAMED to call herself anything relating to Christ.<br /><br />I have never felt so hurt by anyone's comments except my own parents.<br />Thank you, Stacy for making vivid memories of parental abuse so real again. You are good at it!DoaHFnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-41520278855713949892010-11-03T01:27:46.791-04:002010-11-03T01:27:46.791-04:00You're under GRACE, Bethany...so please hang o...You're under GRACE, Bethany...so please hang on to that.Lewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05596138376570543467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-12142010262516347282010-11-03T01:23:16.575-04:002010-11-03T01:23:16.575-04:00....it looks like I missed quite the firestorm! An.......it looks like I missed quite the firestorm! Anybody have a saved copy of the entire post on Steadfast Daughters?<br /><br />It is so hard to read things like this. I am still working through emotional and spiritual fall-out from a childhood spent growing up with patriocentricity [even though my parents don't and never have openly espoused it]. <br />It is still possible [and happens every few weeks] for me to go back to almost believing patriocentricity, and that is when Stacy McDonald and the Botkin sisters can do their worst. It is HORRIBLE: they echo the things I hear....I am rebellious...I only hate patriocentricity because of my own sin....my own personal interests are selfish [oh goodness, the times I've heard THAT one]....I am deceived....<br /><br />Yeah, I am deceived. All too easily.Bethanyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14791763524324073873noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-11773857144414808872010-11-03T01:00:12.491-04:002010-11-03T01:00:12.491-04:00Yep...Changed it, but based on her comment there, ...Yep...Changed it, but based on her comment there, she's being no more honest now than before. She just took her own "bitterness and discontent" and tried to make it look more warm and fuzzy.<br /><br />She most certainly does view Hillary as an enemy and Hillary's ministry as a threat to the commandments of men on which her own faith/lifestyle is founded. Otherwise, her tactics would be just a bit more above-board, AND, she wouldn't have had to change the tone of her page.Lewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05596138376570543467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-62802085284303674162010-11-03T00:26:27.468-04:002010-11-03T00:26:27.468-04:00Just in case anyone was wondering - the Steadfast ...Just in case anyone was wondering - the Steadfast daughters blog is back - but new and revised with a slightly "gentler" and more appealing approach. :Praehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14659411240699818388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-59839383951322942992010-11-02T22:51:11.290-04:002010-11-02T22:51:11.290-04:00Thanks Lewis. Stand strong.Thanks Lewis. Stand strong.Sharonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08973606092527060970noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6879552692521649812.post-23908426937226927592010-11-02T22:42:26.922-04:002010-11-02T22:42:26.922-04:00BTW...if any of you follow Shari's blog...(Mis...BTW...if any of you follow Shari's blog...(Miss Oblivious) her sister-in-law passed on today.The Cult Next Doorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06282235021347524688noreply@blogger.com